People Matter

 

eNewsletter - August 2010

 

Become a better conversationalist

Do you ever feel awkward during conversations with neighbours, colleagues or family? Join the crowd. Many people feel uncomfortable while trying to form a connection with others.

Conversation doesn’t always come naturally but it can be learned. Here are some tips to help you be more effective at everyday conversation.

Express a sincere interest in the other person. Learn a little about this person before you have the opportunity to engage in conversation. Dale Carnegie said: ‘It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.’

Ask meaningful questions. Try to get the other person to tell you what they think about a topic, event or news item, or how they feel about it. Ask open-ended questions instead of questions that must be answered with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. For example, instead of saying ‘Did you enjoy your holiday?’, say ‘What was enjoyable about your holiday?’. Make a point of asking valid questions. James Nathan Miller reminds us that ‘Questions are the breathe of life for a conversation’.

Give compliments. There’s no better way to attract the undivided attention of someone than to issue a flattering remark. In a casual setting, admire a friend’s appearance or home. At work, check out colleagues’ biographies and, when there’s an opportunity for 1:1 communication, say something complimentary about that person’s achievements.

Listen. How many times do you catch yourself paying little attention to what’s being said because you are so busy planning your next comment? While conversations can occasionally be one-sided, most of the time we strive to give and take – that is, speak and then listen. Respond and then listen. A big part of successful communication is responding appropriately, and how can you do that when you didn’t hear the previous comment?

Avoid debates. There are times that may call for friendly debates. But try to avoid turning a friendly conversation into a nasty debate. One way to do this is to graciously allow other people their opinion. The English Statesman, Robert Bulwer-Lytton, said: ‘The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it’. Tip: In conversation, avoid using ‘but’, as it tends to negate what has been said before it. Use the gentler ‘and’ instead. Rather than saying ‘He is a good athlete, but he should try a little harder’, instead say ‘He is a good athlete, and he could try a little harder’.

Keep up to date on current events and issues. Regarding 1:1 communication, it is better to know a little about a lot of things rather than a lot about one or two things.

Use humour. Nothing breaks the ice in communication faster than a little tasteful humour. Try incorporating your natural wit into conversations. Smile when speaking. Nothing lightens up a conversation like a genuinely warm smile.

Model someone whose communication skills you admire. Certain people just seem to hold conversation that flows so nicely; they are interesting and constructive. Should you know people like this, communicate with them often. Observe, listen and learn.

And, like everything else in life, practise makes perfect so... happy talking!

 

Source: Toastmaster magazine, Aug 2010, p25-26

 

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Poet’s Corner: Summer Dawn by Spike Milligan

Those of you that have attended our public speaking training sessions know the importance of crafting compelling speeches using beautiful English. So, each month, we feature a topical poem or passage that paints a picture using beautiful language.

 

My sleeping children are still flying dreams

in their goose-down heads.

The lush of the river singing morning songs

Fish watch their ceilings turn sun-white.

The grey-green pike lances upstream

Kale, like mermaid's hair

points the water's drift.

All is morning hush

and bird beautiful.

 

If only,

I didn't have flu.

 

 

Summer Dawn by Spike Milligan, (1918–2002), Irish born comedian, writer, musician, poet, playwright and actor

 

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Quotations

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people , Muhammad Ali (1942-), US boxer

Be not idle , Robert Burton (1577-1640), English Scholar

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give , Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British politician & Prime Minister

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone , Tommy Cooper (1921-1984), British comedian

 

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Let’s lick loneliness: Forthcoming get togethers

Feeling lonely? Even if the answer to this question is no, why don’t you join our ‘Let’s lick loneliness’ (LLL) initiative?

The purpose of LLL is to share information with others in the group about what we are doing. Then, if people want to join outings, they can. It is better to tell people about a forthcoming event and they say ‘no’, rather than not tell them and they could have been interested in attending.

Some members of LLL have just enjoyed fantastic evenings at the beautiful National Portrait Gallery and National Gallery. Forthcoming events include:

 

Friday 27 th August 2010, 18:30, Late at the London Zoo, Outer Circle, Regent's Park, London, NW1 4RY - c£16 per adult

Friday 3 rd September 2010, 18:30, Late at the Tate Britain, Millbank, London, SW1P 4RG – Free

Monday 20 th September 2010, 19:30, Funny Women Final, 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX - c£10 per person

 

Do contact us if you would like to come along to any of these events. To ensure that the group is as inclusive as possible, events are invariably free or low cost (unless they are one-off events, such as the outing to the zoo or the Funny Women Final).

All, of any age group and background, are most welcome to attend our outings. Membership of LLL is free.

In the words of Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), English poet, critic & writer: ‘... when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life...'.

But, if you are not based in London, why not start an LLL initiative in your area?

 

CustomerClix , August 2010

 

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